Chat room Cheating
Today the internet communication has become a worldwide phenomenon. Online communication happens throughout the virtual communities, which include chat lines, emailing and many other forms of online communication. Online communication has highly evolved that people from all over the world can have relationships with others just by connecting to the web. “In our world today, committed relationships take on many situations. No longer is a committed relationship just between a husband and wife. There are gay couples, lesbian couples and men and women who live together in a committed relationship but choose not to make their commitment legal through marriage. No matter what the arrangement is, infidelity- breaking the trust- is painful and changes lives.” (Browning C. 2004) The Internet has opened a new door for Infidelity. Rather then going to the nearest social event to engage on a flirty encounter, you can simply go online and search for chat rooms in hope for meeting your new cyber, love affair. Even more so the advertising for online chat groups to find a relationship or partner has doubled over the last year. One would argue that this is not a form of cheating as it’s not a physical encounter but then where do we draw the line?
Relationships are built on trust and without trust there cannot be a relationship. Emily Brown (2001) states in her book Patterns of infidelity and their treatment; “Affairs have always been with us and always will be. Only the details change. Technology is one of those details” (p.18). The question is do you trust your partner when they log into a chat room? The use of chat lines persuade users by displaying titles such as “Cheating online” or “Married-Match” to entice the user to log onto that topic. The user can then connect to these chat rooms and create a fantasy relationship with someone they have never ever met or seen before. “Playing at love on the internet can be potentially therapeutic. Cyberspace is known to be a place where individuals can feel less inhibited and safer to flirt and develop relationships (Whitty, 2003; Whitty & Carr, 2003) The Internet is a world where miscellaneous relationships can be created.
Internet Infidelity, in most cases is never usually evident to the spouse or partner. We live in a society where people like keep there personal life undisclosed to others but the internet provides a window where you can be anonymous to another user but engage in an intense sexual relationship and now with wireless internet from the comfort of any place possible. “Anonymity provides the user with a greater sense of perceived control over the content, tone and nature of the online experience. The anonymity associated with electronic communication allows users to feel more open and frank in talking with other users. Anonymity also allows an online user to feel comfortable without needing to look for signs of insincerity or judgment in their facial expression, as would be true in real life. The privacy of cyberspace enables a person to share intimate feelings often reserved for a significant other that may open the door to a potential cyber affair.” (Young, K. S, (1998) True Love is a challenge in the modern, real world. So why try looking for your fantasy lover, when you can just double click your computer mouse and find your perfect match. It’s that simple and that is why internet infidelity is such a frequent issue that generates to family breakups and even divorce.
The Internet is a fantasy world full of new doors and never ending information. The world revolves around the web making it easy to access 24 hours in the day therefore there are millions of online chat rooms that anyone can log onto at any time. “When online, one can be whoever they want to be. Sometimes the only hint of information is through the nickname and even that is not always as it seems. The other person may be presenting themselves as a female, but in reality be a male and vice a versa. This is called Gender-bending.” (Cooper, et al, 2000, p.16) Many Internet users use chat rooms as a form of communication with others, friends, relatives or for the occasional chat but with websites such as www.marriedandflirtingchat.com chatting becomes much more than a day-to-day communication method. This website contains over 6000 users that state they are married and wanting that “little bit extra” in their lives. The language and virtual relationships in this site contain highly provocative, sexual content that persuades users to continue their voyage and helps power there sexual drive in the virtual world. How do we control this? To think your partner may be having a cyber relationship could lead to the destruction of the long-term partnership with one another. On-line, Internet Infidelity is highly accessible and available and that is why users find it so addictive.
Addiction to the virtual world can be very damaging to a person’s life. The internet provides a world of escape where you can log on and shut off from reality. Many users don’t admit to being addicted, as it hasn’t yet registered the time taken up by the web. According to David B. Whittle (1997) in his book Cyberspace: The Human Dimension, “Online addiction manifests itself when an individual’s online interactions interfere with more important external activities. The addicted individual may be unable to go to bed or to sleep until the net has been surfed to the point of exhaustion, may be unable to stop to eat until every conference has been read and digested and may not be able to go to work until every last email has been read.” This may be the case with many users who use chat rooms and other forms of Internet communication to interact with others who are logged on to the net to create relationships.
As our culture grows with new technologies so does the growth and development of the Internet. As we struggle to redefine the true meaning of love, Internet infidelity becomes more apparent. Internet Infidelity is the new form of Adultery. Easy access and the continual production and availability of chat rooms, recreates a passage to those in need of a ‘Quick fix’ to escape reality. “Infidelity online is no less harmful than offline and in some cases it can be worse” (Maheu and Subotnik, 2001, p. xiv) If you can’t act it out in public in front of your loved one why do it behind closed doors. Emotional infidelity is just as cold-hearted as physical infidelity. For any relationship to work, it takes trust, respect and loyalty. The damages of Internet fantasy relationships can become dangerous and destructive to the lives involved in the relationship. Internet Infidelity is a form of cheating and Adultery.
